Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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