Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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