WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
