He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize