I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
