I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
kristin has been a bad kristin
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
