I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
