This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
