Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
