can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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