Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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