i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
