i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
