The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
More tranny stories later!
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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