I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
