Don't you send me to vm
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize