it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
