Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
