You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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