sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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