why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Everclear isn't food dammit
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
