I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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