my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
false alarm, still single
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