Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
