Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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