Life is so much better after having sex.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
