Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
