She went from zero to smokin in five shots
too bad you live with your parents still
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
