I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
