i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
