dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
