Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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