there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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