I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
