I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
