she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
