it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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