You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
