Can i not drive my cunt home
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Farmville is her only friend.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
