Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
