hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
