I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize