he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize