you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
