Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize