Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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