is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
