the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
