Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
