It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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