theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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