remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
