I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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