never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
