either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
