I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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