I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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