I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
