The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
