I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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