I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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